Unexpected...probably.

So, I know that I promised to reveal our "news" last week. But last week was...rough!

But now...I'm ready.

In an earlier post, I made a comment about a "hopeful thought" that wouldn't go away. And that hopeful thought was the possibility of moving our family back to Kansas. We moved to Oklahoma five years ago when Brian was transferred with his job. But always talked about moving back "home" eventually. And five months ago, that opportunity came our way. So without hesitation, Brian applied for a job within his company that was located in Kansas. And we waited. And waited. And waited some more. The job got put on hold for an entire month so we...waited. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Brian got called in for an interview. Sept. 16th came and went. And it was eight days later that we found out that he got the job! And within one week, we were in contract to sell our home in Oklahoma, buy a new home in Kansas, close on both of them at the end of October, and move our family back to Kansas.

But this is when it gets...rough. Brian and I prayed for this to happen. And everything fell right into place and after the waiting part, it fell rather quickly. But what we thought would be such an awesome change in our lives turned out to be a stressful and emotional time that took us on the most unpredictable roller coaster ever. We didn't realize that this opportunity would create such a difficult decision for us to make. We thought it would be more plain and simple. Cut and dry. Obvious. Easy-going. But boy, were we ever wrong!

Brian and I struggled with this decision immensely. We were extremely indecisive and time was not on our side. We probably changed our minds a total of four different times before finally feeling comfortable with our decision. We sat in my car one morning, for a total of two hours, and cried. And talked. And decided. And changed our minds. Go. Stay. Go. Stay. Basically, we sat in my car and stressed. And that same night, we contemplated and swayed back and forth for another five hours. We continued to pray that if moving our family was God's will for us, then it would all fall into place. But even though all the pieces were coming together like a puzzle (a very easy puzzle, for that matter)...something just didn't feel right about moving. We had this huge gut feeling and that feeling was not going away! We did not feel at peace with our decision to move.

And because neither Brian nor I could make a final decision, we decided to take another approach. In the end, we considered our goals and created a "three-year plan" for our family. And then, we placed our family in the best possible location to help us reach those goals and help us live out that plan. Unfotunately, we had to make a selfish decision. And that decision was to...stay. Stay right where we are. Turn down the job that we waited five years for. Cancel our contract in Kansas. Cancel our contract in Oklahoma. And deliver the "bad news" to our family...which happened to be the worst part of it all. We knew that they were excited and thrilled and that learning that we were not moving, after all, would break their hearts. But we also knew that they loved us no matter what and would support our decision 100%. As a parent myself, I can now truly understand the ultimate wish that all parents have. And that wish is for their children to be happy! We feel more at peace with our decision to stay than we did with our decision to move. I can not explain it. But I do know that we are happy!

Even though this was probably the most difficult decision that Brian and I have had to make as a couple...there is a lot of good that came from it. I feel that it brought Brian and I even closer together. The communication that we had was great! We considered each other's feelings, wants, dreams, hopes and suggestions. When I was struggling with our decision, he would help calm my fears; and when he was struggling, I would help calm his fears! We were supportive of one another and learned that we have "each other's back!" It made us realize that we have to do what is best for our family. It made us appreciate the jobs we have in Oklahoma. We are more grateful for our home. More grateful for our location and the convenience of it. More grateful for our church. Friends. The flexibility we have in our lives. It made us realize how much we truly enjoy living in OK.

GO SOONERS!!!
(sorry Brian, I had to)

And finally, in the end...it taught me to trust my gut instinct and trust that God can work in mysterious ways. One day, it will be revealed to us and we will completely understand why we decided to stay.

Also...if we would have just gone with the city that we drew from the hat in the beginning, we wouldn't have had to struggle as much as we did!

So there you have it. If the fast traveling news reached you and you were under the impression that we were moving back to Kansas...that has changed.

We will be proud "Okies" for at least another few years!